Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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