i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
