Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
