dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
