everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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