Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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