so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
