im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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