Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
