I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
