i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
