I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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