No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize