Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this will be a night to untag.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
