So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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