she looked like the before picture.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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