we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
