I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
