HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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