You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
