Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
