that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
