Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
