Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize