kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
