She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize