Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
