so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
