I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
