i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
