i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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