K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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