I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
