he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
