I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize