If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
