do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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