I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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