he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
