Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
