Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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