and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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