my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
