I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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