just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
