Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
