I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
