Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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