the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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