I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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