My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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