thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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