At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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