Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
