Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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