I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize