It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize