If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize