I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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