shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
