I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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