is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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