This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
