Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
