If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
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