She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
