I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize