I look better un-naked...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
