According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
